My FiRsT pAiN!!!!!!!!!

I had ceased to wish him in the mornings. I was in the habit of wishing all family members, every morning before starting my day. Lately, a peep into his room always dampened my spirits. To watch him tucked into a feeble mass on his bed, reduced to half his own size, was an ordeal I had to endure despite its unbearable tenor. Tumbling down those depressing slopes was something that I had been used to, of late. But I refused to succumb to the feeling, which was also braced by medical reports. He was on the wane; I dreaded the day he would disappear forever. I anticipated a bumpy journey for him ahead, but there was no road. I only saw the road bumps; little did I realize that they were ethereal, as implausible as a mirage.

A heightened level of potassium had rendered him incapable of control over his own body. Somnolent pangs often attacked him, though he sought to fight them with all his fervor. Soon, he lost to sleep and surrendered his tenacity. His deathbed was awaiting him in the hospital, comforting yet deceiving as ever.

The poignant atmosphere of hospitals had hindered my steps towards him. I’d made up my mind several times to see him in the hospital, only to nip the feeling later. That was the time he was showing signs of recovery. I wanted to see him back home, rejuvenated- effervescent with the warmth of life. He was home soon…but he lay cold and still. He looked angelic, as though in deep slumber, dreaming of his merry childhood days.

I’d never expressed my affection physically to him. But how I longed to do it now! I was desperate to fondle him, smoothen his ruffled hair and kiss him for one last time...

I couldn’t stop myself…some force had trivialized morbidity and fear in me. The first touch curdled my blood and hardened the lump in my throat. He was cold. I ran my fingers through his hair (oiled as usual) and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. That feeling still lingers on my lips and leaves them dry, quivering and moistens my eyes; the very way I’d moistened his cold forehead. My tears were unusually warm and he was lifelessly cold.